Episode 10: How to Get Your Husband On Board With Homeschooling with Laz
You're listening to Episode 10 of Modern Homeschool. Today Laz is back on the show and he's walking through the questions other dads actually ask him about homeschool, and how he answers them. Money, socialization, falling behind, his role as a working dad, the hard days, the doubts, and what he'd tell a dad who's on the fence. This is the episode to send to a hesitant husband. Dads listening dads usually opens the door faster than anything we can say as moms. My mission is to help modern families homeschool with structure, flexibility, and a life they love, so let's get into it!
Episode Highlights:
1. Why dads ask other dads, and not their own wives, about homeschool
2. The socialization question (every dad asks this)
3. The "what if she falls behind" worry
4. What a working homeschool dad's actual role looks like
5. How Laz shows up when Chanty has a hard day
6. The hardest part of homeschool for Laz himself
Resources Mentioned:
FREE Homeschool Weekly Planner: https://www.chantymacias.com/weeklyplanner
Getting Started With Homeschool Guide: https://www.chantymacias.com/guide
Connect with your podcast host:
https://www.instagram.com/chanty.macias
-
Hey, hey, friends. I am so excited for you to join us today because you're about to hear from someone who you may have seen on my Instagram, but he hasn't been heard yet. In this episode, I'm joined by my husband, Laz. Laz has been my greatest supporter, apart from my parents and family, since day one, and I've learned over the years that his insight and experience are so incredibly valuable.
When it came to homeschooling our daughter, he was not only on board, but never once hesitated to help me with anything she or I needed. Today, we're gonna ask him what he thinks of it all. Let's get to the show.
Moms ask me about curriculum, schedule, am I doing enough? Am I the right person? Dads, on the other hand, ask Laz about money, work, socialization, and what happens when his wife wants to do something that isn't traditional. So today, Laz is back on the podcast, and he's gonna walk you through some of the questions that other dads have asked him about homeschool, and how he actually answers them. If there's a husband in your life who's been on the fence, this is the episode to send them, honestly. Send him the link. He doesn't have to listen to me, but he might listen to another dad. Laz, welcome back to the show, babe. Thanks for having me. This is kind of an interesting one because before we started this episode, we were kinda talking about it, and while our circle is not really totally involved with homeschool parents, and you don't get that many questions, some of the ones that you have gotten asked have been pretty much through my social medias or just people that we know, you know, friends and family. So it's quite interesting, this dynamic that there are some questions that are just for the dads, like, just the hubbies. So, I wanna start this off by saying that a lot of dads assume that homeschool is something only the mom does, and that the dad just kind of signs off on it. Like, "Yeah, you're good. You're, you're doing a good job." But babe, you and I know that that's not really completely how it works for us, so talk to us about what your role actually is.
You know, I'm always asking myself the same question on what is my role, ways that I can help kind of sitting down and watching them do their homeschool activities every day. Always comes up on top of mind ways that I can maybe contribute, maybe support further what the process is going to be, maybe join different activities, even bring some ideas of, of ways that I can also position some additional ways to teach and and use my background to be able to help. Like for instance, I have technology as a background. Maybe I'll include that as part of the conversation. Maybe also include finances maybe at a high level. But also trying to find a balance because working full time and being able to help out oftentimes is difficult, but it's always figuring out ways that we can add additional value and just support the overall system.
Yep. So what does an average week look like for you in terms of you being involved in our homeschool, since you do work full time? What's your role look like? My role is being able to participate in a lot of the activities that are happening. So for instance, going out to Disney, going out to co-ops, a variety of different activities that we have planned throughout the week.
Just being part of it, right? Being, involved, finding a balance. If I'm not either traveling or having, any other conflicts with work I can usually participate in a lot of the activities that are happening. But being there and being present, I think is always, of top importance. And I think at the end of the day is, you know, finding the balance, full-time working, providing for the family, and then being able to contribute.
Yep, and you are the ultimate provider, and we're so grateful for that. All right, so the hard question: because dads notice this, right? They notice when their wife is wearing thin, and they want to know if homeschool is going to wear them out. So what do you do when I specifically have a hard day?
I think I've gotten into the habit of really understanding the good and the bad days, ways that I can not only identify those days, but being part of the solution and not becoming part of the problem. I think we have throughout the month and, and even weeks at a time where we have, ups and downs, we're busy, we're taking a variety of different tasks that we have to go do every day. But oftentimes either a headache or not feeling well or- Mm-hmm ... you know, something else that could be popping up always tends to happen but at the same time, for us is, me personally, how can I react positively? How can I help alleviate some of the pressure? And even, find ways to jump in and help out, right? That's ultimately the process, and maybe a massage or two always comes in handy.
Ooh, yes. We love those. Do you think homeschool has made my days harder or easier than they would have been with a public school schedule?
Significantly easier, in my opinion. I think for us the important thing is alleviating and eliminating the unnecessary issues with the traditional method, and then adjusting ourselves to what works for us, right? We need to be flexible. We need to be able to learn in any scenario, under any circumstance. We could either be home this week, be somewhere else next week, and we wanna have that flexibility to be able to meet some of the requirements that we have as a homeschool program, but at the same time, alleviate some of the day-to-day worries that a lot of us, or even ourselves included, had for years. This process makes it easy. It balances out towards, you know, the good side of helping our family achieve our goals, and then being able to, make adjustments as we go through it, but it's our control. We control a lot of it. We control the outcomes as much as possible. With traditional schooling, it's a little bit difficult to do so.
And I love that you mentioned traveling, too, because that was one of the main reasons why we decided to even pursue this, because you're traveling more for work now, and we know so many families who have one partner or the other that are constantly traveling for work, and so the other parent needs to solo parent for a while. And so we kinda decided, "Well, what if we do this thing where we can just kind of maybe go with you on certain trips?" Maybe not all of them, 'cause sometimes you have one- or two-day trips for work, but sometimes when it's longer, we can just go with you. And if we were still in school, those would be days that she'd be marked absent, assessments that she'd be missing, work that needs to be caught up, and it would just kind of become this whole issue where and if we're homeschooled, we can make the decisions. We get to be flexible. We make the schedule, and we decide where, when, and how we learn or teach. And so I think that's been something that's been really positive for us in this experience. What would you tell a dad whose wife is barely holding it together right now? Should they not homeschool, or do they actually just maybe need more flexibility and not less? What would you recommend?
I always say this, and I think I said it in the podcast before. I think sitting down, communicating, planning, looking at all the options, weighing in what you currently have or the situation you currently have right now, and being able to either agree on what the next steps could be, how do we plan to get there, adjustments that need to be made. If it's a difficult decision, if it's gonna be problematic, of course you have to reassess. You have to, of course, evaluate, whether this makes sense or not. It has to makes a lot of sense. I think it makes a lot of sense from doing it and being able to see the value that it comes with, but getting there oftentimes or deciding is oftentimes the biggest challenge. It's just sitting down, looking at the current situation, analyzing the probability of going that route, and if it all makes sense and we can make adjustments to get there, I think we both sacrifice, we both stay focused, and we're always communicating and coordinating things, and it'll be very successful. But it takes a lot of pre-planning to make sure that the right circumstances are in place to make that move.
Yeah, absolutely. And now, you didn't specifically get a dad that asked you this, but I did get a message the other day on social media, and, it was a friend's husband who was actually asking to ask you this. They said, "What's the hardest part of homeschool?" But not just in general. What's been the part of homeschool that has been the hardest on you specifically? Not on me or on Ari, but for you?
I think what's important for me is being able to capture or have that flexibility to do anything that needs to be done during that week, right? I think, I think our current scenario and our situation is sometimes we have to get up and go. Sometimes we just have to pack everything that we need for that week and go somewhere or do something or, fly somewhere. And having that flexibility, oftentimes it's hard because we always have to, make it somewhat last-minute, and there's a lot of things that need to change, and we have to just grab stuff and run. And finding that, flexibility is difficult. I need to be able to meet certain requirements for work and a variety of other places, and I think the hard part is just being able to agree on this is what we need to go do. These are the things that we have to go achieve every week. Yeah. And then being able to just jump and go, oftentimes is a little concerning because, we probably don't have everything fully aligned, but, you know, I think part of the hard part is while I'm on these trips, while I'm on a business travel of some sort, I'm not gonna be around. I'm not gonna be involved. Being absent at times could be hard, could be difficult, right? But it's always a good idea to just take the effort do whatever is necessary to be present. And then if you need to get up and go, hopefully, and I know my wife does, she jumps in, takes care of business, and then when I come back, everything is according to plan.
And I get the support that I need and you do as well. Yeah, we definitely compromise in different areas, and we try our best to make it work. And of course, we're not perfect, and we learn every day, every trip, every month. I mean, it's always a work in progress, right? As long as you look at it like that, like it's always a work in progress and there's always something to improve, it's never going to get to the point where it's like, "Wow, yes, we finally got it. We got into this rhythm. Like, we nailed it," because then something bigger and better could come up. Or something, God forbid, could happen that's worse and then, you know, you're not prepared. But at least if you're flexible and you look at it like it's a work in progress, then there's always going to be something positive that could come out of it. So yeah, thanks. I love that. Has there been a moment when you've ever doubted the decision for us to homeschool and for me to be here with her?
No, I don't think I had, or I still don't have any doubts whatsoever. I think what's important for me is ensuring that she's benefiting, that our daughter is benefiting from the process. Her education is not lagging. I wanted to make sure that we have the system, the stability to be able to get it done. And then be able to have the discipline, right? Be able to have the focus that is required to get it done day in and day out, and I think that's definitely part of what we've done exceptionally well is just kind of sitting down, planning on all angles. Making sure that it's checking all the boxes and making adjustments as we go through it. I think that's the, that's the most important part. But other than that, I think we have a good system. I think anybody can develop our system. I'm not too worried that anybody would have any objections or any problems. I think the system is there. There is a process. We do have resources that we can help with that'll help alleviate some of the concerns, and I think that's definitely something that from our learning lessons we can share to make that process even better.
Yes. I love that you mentioned that. The Getting Started With Homeschool Guide is now available, and it's free. And there's of course a link in the show notes. Way to lay that out there, babe. I love that. I love that. Yeah, and I also like that you mentioned the discipline and the focus because those are two things that are, again, always a work in progress. We never have that figured out, but we try our best. I got one last question for you, and this is not really something that dads ask you, but more of an interesting question from me just 'cause I'm curious now. But what has been your favorite thing about this entire year so far, this whole process?
I think there's no better satisfaction than to get, get up every morning, have a cup of coffee, kinda looking around, whether it's 8:00, 9:00, 10:00 in the morning, being able to see the family at home doing the things that they enjoy, doing the things that they want, to do with the flexibility that it comes with. And also having the ability to learn in the process, right? And explore new things and visit places and socialize with people, right? All those things are all part of the process. But to me, there's no better satisfaction than just to look around every morning and realize, I think this is by far one of the best choices we've ever made.
Mm-hmm. I love that. You're gonna get me all teary-eyed. Well, babe, thank you. Honestly, I think every mom listening to this just texted the episode to their hubby. For anyone who's been waiting for the moment to bring this up, let this episode be the moment. Go ahead and send it. Let Laz say it for you. Sometimes our hubbies need to hear it from another man who's been doing it for a while, and there's no shame in that. It's just a different perspective and that's just how some conversations work better. Thanks for listening today, friends, and babe, thanks for being here. Thanks for having me. Look forward to the next one. Oh, yeah.
Next week, Ari's joining us. We're getting into the question I think every mom thinking about homeschooling secretly wonders: What does my kid actually miss about public school, and what do they not miss? Ari's gonna give her honest answers, so don't miss it.
Thank you so much for hanging out with me today. I truly love creating this space to support you on your homeschool journey. If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love to connect with you. Come say hi on Instagram or TikTok and tell me what resonated and what questions you still have. I read every single message, and your stories help shape future episodes.
And if you know another parent who's considering homeschool or needs encouragement, share this episode with them so we can support more modern homeschool families together. Remember, homeschool doesn't have to look like school at home. It just has to work for your family. See you in the next episode!